


they say that timing is everything (but you are my everything)

by wonderstruckk



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Heavy Angst, canon adjacent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:34:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23643937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderstruckk/pseuds/wonderstruckk
Summary: When she sees Beca, a small alt girl with an excess of black eyeliner and a low cut maroon tanktop, and then hears her date (February 2012), she knows that she has to intervene. There’s a guarded sadness about the way that this girl is carrying herself, and Chloe decides that she’s going to make it her life’s mission to make sure that this girl is happy for the remainder of her life.
Relationships: Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell
Comments: 20
Kudos: 97





	they say that timing is everything (but you are my everything)

**Author's Note:**

> this is a REALLY long oneshot and i apologize profusely but it flowed better as one concrete thing instead of being broken into parts. this really is a longass timeline, but this is in a universe where pp3 does not exist. they still go to new york, but things have been altered. you'll see ;)
> 
> title is based off of "timing is everything" by exes <3

**_Miami, 1995_ **

“Mommy, Otis is going to die today.”

She says it as though it’s as simple as saying, “It’s sunny outside” or “The sky is blue”, looking up from her coloring book to eye their beloved golden retriever, who is sleeping beside the mantle. 

Her mother halts in the middle of doing the dishes, nearly dropping the frying pan she had been cleaning on the floor.

“Chloe Alice Beale, why would you say a thing like that?” her mother scolds, shooting a disappointed glance in her daughter’s direction. 

“Well, he is,” Chloe insists matter-of-factly.

Mrs. Beale brushes it off, chalking it up to Chloe just being a highly imaginative five-year-old, and continues with cleaning her dishes.

A few hours later, Otis accidentally escapes out the front door and runs out into the middle of the street, and gets hit by a car. Chloe’s mother lets out a blood curdling shriek in horror, but she just stands there, tears beading in her eyes as she watches the man behind the wheel immediately get out of his car and apologize profusely to her sobbing mother.

They bury him in their backyard between the butterfly bush and the tulips. 

They never mention it again, and Chloe vows to never speak of it again. Somehow, even as a five-year-old, she  _ knows  _ that she has a secret insight that normal people don’t. So she resolves to keep it to herself.

**_Miami, 2003_ **

The older she gets, the more advanced her gift becomes. It becomes less selective, and soon, she can just look at someone and  _ know  _ how many days are left before they die. She tries her best not to let it get to her, she knows that it’s not in her control. She never knows  _ how  _ they go, but the minute she makes eye contact, she hears that definitive mumbling of a number of days over and over again in her mind.

She never forgets that day with Otis; she’s not sure ever will. That is the first memory that she has of her gift. 

No other deaths have been quite as painful, but she knows that one is coming soon, and she tries her hardest not to let it show every time she sees her dad. He has eight days left, and all Chloe wants is to spend time with him, but he’s so overwhelmed with work. He’s a salesman, and they’re trying to reel in this big client that could really change things for the company.

When he drops dead from a heart attack eight days later, in the middle of a conference at work, Chloe has no choice but to console her grieving mother in the middle of the hospital waiting room. 

**_Barden University, 2008_ **

After her dad dies, life slows down for Chloe, and she resolves just to be as nice as she can to everyone. Thankfully, she has  _ years _ left with her mom, and doesn’t have to worry about losing another parent any time soon. 

She cannot change their times, but she  _ can  _ make the most of them. Even though people might perceive it as weird, she doesn’t care; it’s the best she can do to absolve her own guilt for carrying the burdensome knowledge that she knows when people are going to die. 

It makes her feel better about moving to Georgia for college at Barden University, where she’ll be attending school. She still cries after her mom’s finished with helping her move into her dorm room, still feels bad about leaving her mom alone in Miami. They’ve been a team for so long since Dad died that something about leaving her doesn’t seem right, but her mom assures her that she is proud of her, and that she will have so much fun in college.

She’s right. 

Chloe’s a little bent out of shape, but not for long. In spite of the lingering dates in her head, college is a lot of fun. She falls in love with the rhythm and schedule of her classes, and enjoys going to all the parties and tailgating events. Barden is fun and she is happy.

She even befriends her roommate, Aubrey, who thankfully, isn’t going to be leaving her for decades, so she is able to accept the friendship with a breath of relief. Aubrey is kind of uptight, but eventually, Chloe learns that she is intuitive and caring and a good friend. 

They confide in each other about many things. Aubrey tells Chloe about her life as a military brat, moving from place to place depending on wherever her father was stationed. Chloe tells Aubrey about her mom, but resolves to keep her gift a secret; she doesn’t want to lose the best friend that she’s made at college.

Aubrey convinces her to join the Barden Bellas, an acapella group on campus, and even though the older girls are kind of mean, Chloe doesn’t mind. She loves to sing, loves to dance, and loves being around strong and powerful women, so she quickly falls in love with the world of acapella and the rivalries between the Bellas and the Treblemakers. 

**_September 2011_ **

The first time Chloe sees Beca, it’s at the activities fair. Aubrey’s puked away their big win at the ICCA’s, and most of the girls have graduated. The few girls that remain quit. So they’re trying to recruit new members, and hopefully, redeem themselves.

As much as Chloe loves Aubrey, she’s become obsessed with winning, and while Aubrey has always been highly competitive (something that will suit her well as she continues onward in life), it’s frustrating. Chloe joined the Bellas to have fun, and she just wants to share that experience with others. Winning is nice, but the one thing that’s kept Chloe coming back all four years of college is the fun of it all. It’s the riff offs and initiation night and the friendly competition between their on-campus rivals. It’s not winning, it’s  _ never _ been about winning, not for Chloe.

So when she sees Beca, a small alt girl with an excess of black eyeliner and a low cut maroon tanktop, and then hears her date (February 2012 _ ),  _ she knows that she has to intervene. There’s a guarded sadness about the way that this girl is carrying herself, and Chloe decides that she’s going to make it her life’s mission to make sure that this girl is happy for the remainder of her life.

Aubrey isn’t too impressed by Beca’s appearance, and subsequently, Beca shows no interest in joining their group, even insults them  _ to their faces _ . Chloe tries not to show how deflated she is after this loss, and quietly resolves that she will try and find the girl later and convince her to join. 

* * *

She ends up running into Beca without even trying. She’s in the showers, fooling around with her friend Tom, when she hears the most exquisite sounding voice singing “Titanium”. Whoever it is, Chloe knows that she  _ has  _ to know who it is (and convince them to join the Bellas). 

She is shocked when she pulls back the shower curtain and reveals the alt girl from the activities fair. The girl is embarrassed by Chloe’s interruption, but Chloe can’t find it in herself to be ashamed. She made a promise to herself that she would try and make this girl happy, and she’s not going to give up.

Chloe ends up convincing her to sing “Titanium” with her, and it truly  _ is  _ an other-worldly experience, until Tom emerges from behind her and reminds her why she’s in the showers to begin with.

“I’ll see you at auditions!” she manages to call out over her shoulder before being dragged back into the shower, and pinned against the wall.

* * *

Beca’s audition is better than Chloe expects. In all honesty, she’s kind of surprised that Beca even shows up, and in spite of Aubrey’s weary glance in Beca’s direction, Chloe is all smiles as Beca awkwardly pulls their yellow pen cup from the table and begins a rhythmic rendition of a song that Chloe doesn’t recognize.

“We  _ have  _ to take her, Bree!” Chloe insists as they’re reviewing later in their shared apartment. 

“I dunno, Chloe,” Aubrey is still on the fence. “She’s just not really what we’re looking for. She doesn’t  _ look  _ like a Bella.”

Chloe lets out a frustrated sigh.

“Just give Beca a chance,” she insists. “She’s a good singer, and we need her vocals. We can work on the rest. You’re willing to take Amy, so if you’re going to take Amy, we  _ have  _ to take Beca.”

Aubrey eyes her dubiously, as though she doesn’t understand why Chloe is so  _ obsessed  _ with letting this sarcastic alt girl who openly insulted them at the activities fair join their acapella group. 

“Fine,” Aubrey agrees reluctantly. “But the minute she screws up, she’s gone, and I mean it, Chloe. We have a reputation to earn back.”

Chloe agrees, enveloping Aubrey in an excited hug, peppering her with friendly kisses on the cheek, which makes a blush rise in Aubrey’s cheeks.

* * *

As the season progresses, Beca continues to grow on her. In spite of the fact that she really tests Aubrey’s patience (something that she often has to listen to Aubrey complain about after rehearsals), Chloe thinks that Beca is a great addition to the Bellas. She’s  _ funny _ , and even though she does make a lot of backhanded remarks at Aubrey’s expense, Chloe can’t help but stifle a laugh. 

She tries to forget that Beca’s time is limited, and reminds herself not to get too attached, but the more that she gets to know Beca through their snippets of time together, she throws that out the window.

“What are you up to tomorrow?” Chloe finds herself asking Beca after practice, avoiding a concerned glance from Aubrey in their direction.

“Uh, nothing,” Beca admits cautiously. “Why?”

“Just wanted to know if you were free to hangout sometime.”

They make tentative plans to go to Chloe’s favorite coffee shop in downtown Atlanta. Chloe promises to pick her up around eleven the next morning. Beca, as much as she tries to play it off as nonchalant, seems giddy as she bids Chloe an awkward goodbye.

* * *

They have a lot more in common than Chloe expected, she learns. Aside from their love of David Guetta, she also learns that they also share the same favorite color (purple), and the same hatred for the band U2 ( _ “I just don’t understand the hype” “Bono really isn’t all that great” _ ) 

She also learns a little more about Beca that she didn’t expect. Like that Beca lived in Portland with her mom, and that her dad is a comparative literature professor at Barden. Beca wants to move to L.A. and become a music producer; Chloe forces a smile at the dull reminder in the back of her mind of Beca’s impending date.

“I’m sure that you’ll be great at it,” she assures her, reaching across the table to take Beca’s hand in her own.

She pulls away at the weird glance that Beca gives her, and quietly scolds herself.

Later that night, she cries into her pillow, cursing God or whoever’s out there for burdening her with this terrible “gift”, and cursing herself for getting so emotionally invested in this girl who’s life is going to end in three months. 

* * *

She’s never tried to meddle with people’s dates, but as the semester comes to an end and winter break is just a week and a half away, Chloe swears that it’s worth a try. She never knows how people are going to die, just  _ when,  _ so this will be tricky, but it’s worth it.

She’s grown so attached to Beca since the start of the semester, much to Aubrey’s annoyance. They spend most of their freetime together; Beca shares her music with her, and Chloe shows her more of her favorite spots around Atlanta.

In the three weeks that they’re separated for winter break, Chloe makes sure to call Beca every day. She meets Beca’s mom over FaceTime, briefly (they look a lot alike), and Beca’s pet cat, Mickey. She even introduces Beca to her mom, who offers Beca a half-hearted smile, and shoots Chloe an annoyed glare before returning to her work on baking their Christmas cookies.

“I miss you,” Chloe says Christmas night, when they are both awake and on the phone. 

“I miss you, too, Chlo,” Beca admits with a sigh. “It’s weird being back home. I didn’t think that Barden would grow on me so much.”

Chloe laughs.

“Aren’t you glad your dad forced you to go?” she insists playfully.

Beca rolls her eyes, pulling Mickey closer to her under the covers.

“Merry Christmas, weirdo.”

**_January 2012_ **

Things change when they get back from winter break, and Chloe  _ hates  _ not knowing what’s going on. Beca shuts her out, acting more distant and moody than she had been at the activities fair. Chloe  _ tries  _ and  _ tries  _ to reach out to her, only to continually be brushed off.

There is one month left until Beca’s date, and Chloe tries her best to bury herself in her schoolwork and making sure that Aubrey is even-tempered throughout Bella’s rehearsals. They’ve made it to semi-finals, but unfortunately for Chloe, that just means that Aubrey is more and more obsessed with her desire to beat the Trebles. 

Between this and the pain from her nodes, and trying to reach out to Beca and keep up with school, Chloe is overwhelmed. Sometime towards the end of the month, she receives a text from Beca in the middle of the night.

**Beca:** _ You up? _

**Beca:** _ Meet me at our favorite quad spot in 5? _

Chloe is surprised, but she instantly responds with an eager ‘yes!!’, before grabbing her coat off the coat rack, and quietly closing the apartment door behind her.

Beca doesn’t say anything when she shows up, she just offers Chloe a half-hearted smile and makes up some sort of excuse about being busy with life. Chloe doesn’t really care, she’s just happy to have Beca back in her life. So she pulls her into a hug and starts jabbering about how much she missed Beca.

They talk until almost three in the morning, until Chloe can barely get through a sentence without yawning, and Beca  _ insists  _ that Chloe go to bed.

“I promise, I’ll see you tomorrow at Bella’s rehearsal,” Beca assures her before they part ways.

Chloe’s afraid of things going back to the way they were, but thankfully, they don’t. She and Beca fall back into their familiar rhythm of friendship by the end of the week, and it’s almost like they didn’t spend those awkward two and a half weeks avoiding each other.

**_February 2012 (3 days left)_ **

Beca gets all weird and despondent again, three days away from her date, and Chloe doesn’t have time for it. As much as she  _ hates  _ having to be clingy and annoying, she refuses to take no for an answer, not this close to the end.

She’s given up on trying to change Beca’s date, something that doesn’t seem to be doable, so instead, she insists on spending as much time as she can with her.

“Chloe, I don’t understand why you can’t just give me a break,” Beca sighs exasperatedly from the floor of her dorm room. Kimmy Jin is home for the weekend, so they’re alone and watching movies.

“Because you’re my friend and I care about you,” Chloe hums absentmindedly, settling down beside Beca on the floor and offering her a bowl of popcorn that she’s just popped in Beca’s microwave. “And you’re clearly going through something.”

“I’m fine,” Beca snaps, irritated.

Chloe tries to mask her hurt, but evidently, she’s never been good at doing that. She’s always been an emotional person, always worn her heart on her sleeve. 

“Chlo-”

“Why don’t we just watch our movie some other time?” Chloe suggests quietly, getting up from off the floor before grabbing her coat and keys and heading out Beca’s door.

  
The rest of the night, her phone is bombarded with apology texts from Beca, but she doesn’t have it in her to reply. Instead, she spends the night crying quietly in her bedroom, cursing herself for getting involved, for  _ caring _ . 

**_16 hours left._ **

Chloe doesn’t want to get out of bed today. She knows that today is Beca’s last day, and she doesn’t want anything to do with it. The sound of sixteen hours repeating in the back of her head throughout the Bellas rehearsal is enough to drive her mad. She has to excuse herself from the room a couple of times, earning her some confused glances from Aubrey.

She avoids eye contact with Beca the entire practice, and bolts for the door as soon as Aubrey has determined that they’ve done enough for the day.

“You’re acting weird today, Chloe,” Aubrey says curiously once she returns to the apartment ten minutes later, eyeing Chloe suspiciously as she sits on the couch with a mug of hot chocolate filled to the brim with marshmallows.

“I’m fine,” Chloe insists, forcing a weak smile. “Just stressed between all of this and school.”

Aubrey doesn’t seem to buy it, but she doesn’t say anything, instead, settling herself down on the couch beside Chloe as they watch a cheesy rom-com that’s playing. 

It’s ten p.m., with almost two hours left until Beca’s time is up, when they get a timid knock at the apartment door. Aubrey lets out a grumble of annoyance as she excuses herself to her bedroom, insisting that it’s time for her to go to sleep and that Chloe can deal with whoever it is at the door.

Chloe begrudgingly agrees to it, heaving herself up off the couch, about ready to tell whoever is behind the door to go away, but when she opens it, it’s Beca, crying on her doorstep.

And as she holds Beca in her arms, her body heaving with sobs, Chloe can’t help but sob with relief at the fact that the number has changed. She still has  _ time _ . 

They sit there together on the floor, crying, and it’s a miracle that Aubrey doesn’t come out and find them like this. After what feels like hours, Chloe pulls an exhausted Beca off the ground, her eyes puffy and without eyeliner for the first time since Chloe has met her, and helps her onto the couch.

She presses a gentle kiss to Beca’s forehead as she pulls a blanket over the younger girl, and she sits there and watches Beca sleep the entire night, thanking God and anyone that she can think of for giving them more time.

**_March 2012_ **

They get disqualified from semis, and don’t advance on to finals, and as sad as Chloe is about not getting to finish out the year with a strong victory, she accepts it, and moves on. What she can’t accept, however, is Beca’s outburst before their loss is announced, following a spat with Aubrey.

The following weeks without Beca feel empty and sad, almost like getting to keep her for a while longer comes with a price.

She replays the memory of that night over and over again in her mind, wondering what the hell changed that Beca didn’t die. Dates have never changed before. And as thankful as Chloe is, she is also curious.

The season is over, so she decides to get nodes surgery when she’s home for spring break. Her mom is supportive of this, but she doesn’t tell any of the other girls. She’s too nervous that it will go badly, and doesn’t want to jinx things.

And then she gets the text, in the middle of recovery, that the Bellas are back in the competition. It feels like a new chance to start over again, a chance to patch things up with Beca  _ and  _ get the victory that Aubrey has been pushing for since day one of the season.

She returns to Barden a week later with high hopes that things will be better. She even shoots Beca a text inviting her to come back. She doesn’t get a reply, but then again, she doesn’t expect one- it’s been almost a month since they’ve last spoken. Unfortunately, practice does not go as expected, and what starts as an argument between her and Aubrey ends up escalating into an all out brawl. 

Beca shows up at the worst possible time, but somehow, it gets everyone to calm down, and they all sit around in a circle and bond, really  _ bond _ , for the first time since the start of the year.

There is something different about Beca that she hasn’t noticed, and she’s not really sure what’s caused the change. She listens in for the little voice in the back of her head, and it’s still years away, which allows her to relax. It’s still too close for her liking, but it’s changed before, so she can figure out how to change it again, right?

They end up in the empty pool, and sing a beautiful arrangement of Nelly’s Just a Dream and Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars. Somehow, this inspires Aubrey to go along with Beca’s idea of changing the set so they can win, something Chloe  _ never  _ saw coming, seeing as both girls are two of the most stubborn people she’s ever had the pleasure of meeting.

“I’m sorry, you know,” Beca says, a nervous smile tugging on her lips as she approaches Chloe at the end of rehearsal.

Chloe just smiles, her hand finding Beca’s as they skip out of the pool, following the other girls. They’re about to celebrate back at the apartment.

“I know,” Chloe admits. “I’m not mad at you.”

Beca seems relieved.

“I’m glad,” she says with a sigh. “I really like hanging out with you, Chloe. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Bec.”

The rest of the night is a blur of shots and listening to Fat Amy belligerently share stories that seem too wild to be true (I mean, there’s no way that there’s  _ any _ accuracy to anything that she’s been saying, right?) and drunkenly singing along to hits of the early 2000s. For the first time in a long time, Chloe is  _ happy _ and not worried about anything.

They share a moment, her and Beca. 

In all of this time that she’s spent worrying about keeping everyone happy and making sure that things run smoothly for everyone else, she hasn’t had time to acknowledge the growing romantic feelings that are budding for the young freshman.

There’s a moment, where they’re standing in front of the bathroom, waiting for whoever’s inside to finish with whatever they’re doing, when Beca’s lips are almost grazing against her own, but they jerk apart when they hear the sound of the toilet flushing and the sink running.

Chloe doesn’t think to ask Beca about it; they’re both too drunk. And by the time she thinks to bring it up again, there’s too many other things going on.

**_May 2012_ **

The ICCAs are a blur of excitement. They’re all nervous to share their revamped image with the world, but happy to have one final, fleeting moment together on stage. 

The past couple of months have really brought them closer together, and it’s only made Chloe realize that she wants to stay here at Barden, with these people. And Beca only has a few more years left. She can’t just  _ leave. _

So she fails Russian Lit for the first time of what will be many. All she had to do was turn in a final paper that was worth most of her grade. Chloe’s no idiot, in fact, she  _ loves  _ reading,  _ loves  _ Russian lit,  _ loves  _ the professor, and as much as it pains her to get a disappointed and concerned email from Dr. Reznik, she knows that it’s for the best.

Her eyes never leave Beca's for the entirety of their final performance; she has blossomed so much since they’ve revamped, and Chloe can only hope that Beca will stick with the Bellas instead of running off to L.A. like she knows the brunette desperately wants to.

They finish strong, and much to their excitement, manage to nab the ICCA championship. Everything after that is a blur, but Chloe is excited that everything is over so she can finally confront Beca about what almost happened that night.

And then she sees it.

Jesse, one of the new Treblemakers that Beca is friends with, pulls Beca in for a kiss in front of everyone and their mothers in the Lincoln Center, and Chloe feels her heart drop to the pit of her stomach in disappointment.

She leaves, opting not to celebrate with the others that night, instead, retiring to her hotel room, where she promptly cries and orders a quart of Ben and Jerry’s for herself. 

It’s for the best, she decides, and when she wakes up the next morning to board the plane back to Atlanta, she acts no differently than she normally would, because if anything she just wants to see Beca happy. That’s been the goal this whole time, after all.

**_September 2014_ **

The next two years breeze by, but Chloe’s feelings for Beca continue to linger. She tries her best to push them away, but she’s not always successful. Despite the fact that Beca and Jesse have been dating for years now, they still have a few drunken close calls, but Chloe just chalks it up to the alcohol.

She continues to fail Russian Literature, much to her mother’s annoyance (and everyone else at Barden).

_ “You’re an English major, Chloe Alice, I don’t understand why you’ve failed this course so many times!”  _ her mother exclaims with disappointment.

Chloe feels bad about it, but she knows that her mom will never understand, just like her mom didn’t understand about Otis when she was five. 

Her time with Beca is getting shorter and shorter (she has a year and a half left), and Chloe’s determination to change the date again is stronger than ever. She’s done it once before, and she’ll do it again, because losing Beca is  _ not  _ an option.

Romantic feelings aside, Beca is Chloe’s best friend (not discounting Aubrey; of course they’re still close, but Aubrey’s two hours away at the Lodge, and they barely see each other anymore). She can’t imagine a world where she and Beca aren’t together, sharing everything.

Thankfully, she gets to pass Russian Lit this time around; it’s the girls’ senior year, which means that they’re all getting ready to move on.

Truth be told, Chloe’s ready to move on, but scared. She’s been putting everything on hold for Beca for the past three years, so she hasn’t the faintest idea of what the hell she’s going to do when she graduates. She’s an English major, so she toys with the idea of going away to law school, but at the same time, she’s not really sure if she wants to endure three more years of schooling; she’s already done seven, at this point. 

To make things even more complicated, Beca starts to push her away again, something that happens like clockwork every couple of months, just because of Beca’s complicated relationship with her parents and her need to put up boundaries, but this is different than that. Beca’s distant and moody and hardly ever around in the Bellas house. Chloe notices her absence, but every time she brings it up, Beca just brushes it off. None of the other girls seem to care, so Chloe just chalks it up to Beca going through her usual phase.

On top of that, Fat Amy’s accidental public nudity on live national television (and in front of the  _ President _ ) gets them disbarred from competing, so they can kiss the ICCAs goodbye. It’s so bad that they get called to speak with the Dean, and then, the head of the National Acapella Association.

So her final senior year is definitely not off to a good start, but it gets a little better when Beca foolishly makes a deal with the Acapella people that they should be reinstated to compete if they can win the World Championships of Acapella.

They even welcome a Legacy Bella! So Chloe is optimistic that things will start looking up, even though things are definitely looking pretty dim.

**_November 2015_ **

The Bellas are all packing up to go back home for Thanksgiving, all except for her and Beca. Chloe’s mom is a nurse, so she’s working all of Thanksgiving, and Beca hates going home for the holidays, so they’ve opted to stay at the Bellas house over break.

It’s been their tradition for the past two years, since her second senior year, and it’s become something that Chloe looks forward to. Especially this year, when it feels like she and Beca have grown more and more distant.

  
They’re lazing around in their sweatpants that night, just the two of them alone in the Bellas house, when suddenly, Beca mutes the episode of the Kardashians that they’re kind of watching but not really, and turns to face her.

“You know, I kind of owe you everything, right?” Beca says with a soft smile pulling at the corners of her lips.

Chloe looks at her with confusion.

“What do you mean?” she asks.

Beca’s cheeks flush with embarrassment or shame; Chloe’s not really sure, because Beca blushes for a lot of different reasons.

“Do you remember that night in February, my freshman year?” she elaborates nervously.

_ How could I forget?  _ Chloe thinks to herself, recalling the two of them, sobbing in the middle of the apartment floor, clinging to each other for dear life.

“I never told you what I was so upset about,” Beca continues with a long sigh, suddenly distracted by the ends of her hair, unable to look Chloe in the eyes. “I was going to kill myself.”

Chloe feels the tears pricking at the corners of her eyes without any warning, but she doesn’t say anything, waiting for Beca to continue with her story.

“I was going through a lot and it was just super overwhelming, so I was going to kill myself because it just seemed like the easiest option,” Beca continues coolly, as though it’s not the biggest revelation in the universe. “And then I remembered you, and how nice you were to me, even though I was pretty prickly with you most of the time, and shut you out a lot. And I just couldn’t go through with it.”

“Bec,” Chloe manages through a choked sob. “I’m so so happy that you didn’t.”

She feels Beca pull her into a tight hug, pressing a soft kiss to her temple as they hold each other. 

“Love you, weirdo,” Beca whispers in her ear. “You’re my best friend in the whole world.”

Chloe just sniffles and nods, unable to muster the courage to say anything else. 

* * *

Thanksgiving with Beca is probably the happiest Chloe’s been in awhile. Things feel like they’ve gone back to normal for the most part, and thankfully, it carries on into the following week, once the rest of the Bellas have returned back from their breaks.

Everyone comes back more focused on the task at hand, and while Beca still seems distracted by whatever it is that’s going on in her life, Chloe doesn’t pry, and Beca tries her best to be a little bit more present.

Things are perfect, copacetic, even, for a while, and she’s surrounded by all of the people that she loves more than anything in the world. 

It’s been so long since things have been this good, so she opts to just live for the moment.

**_Lodge at Fallen Leaves, April 2015_ **

Things are good for awhile, but by the time they all come back from winter break, they’re distracted. Beca’s more despondent than she was  _ before  _ their heart-to-heart at Thanksgiving, and Chloe is worried, not only about Beca, but also about the other girls. How are they supposed to redeem their name (and the only good thing in Chloe’s life over the last seven years), if their hearts aren’t in it?

So she calls up Aubrey and sets up a weekend retreat at the Lodge at Fallen Leaves to “find their sound” again. It’s more than she bargained for; she didn’t realize that it was an  _ actual  _ lodge with bear traps, but then again, she didn’t really ask, she was just excited for the opportunity to get away and spend some much needed time with Aubrey.

It’s still tense, and they still can’t find their sound, in spite of all the team-building exercises that Aubrey makes them participate in, including but not limited to ziplining, intense waterslides, and mud pools. If anything, these team-building exercises are more of a distraction than they are any help, and the girls don’t take it very seriously.

And to make matters even worse, there aren’t even guest rooms for them to stay in, they have to camp in a  _ tent _ .  _ Outside _ .

It’s only when she and Beca get into an argument that ends with Beca getting caught in a bear trap, that they make any actual progress.

She learns, much to her relief, that the reason Beca’s been so distant lately is not because she’s going through something, but rather, because she’s been so focused on her career after graduation. It turns out, she’s been interning at a recording studio called Residual Heat for the entire year, which is a  _ very  _ big deal.

Chloe can’t help but feel a little hurt that Beca didn’t think to tell her, but she tries not to hold it against her. She knows that she can be a little overbearing at times, and that she can’t explain it to Beca in a way that will make sense to the brunette, so she just accepts it, and they hug it out.

As she holds Beca in her arms, she is reminded once again of the feelings that she’s been shoving down for the past three years, and the burning feeling of shame at keeping the truth a secret from Beca.

The number has changed since they’ve last hugged, and she can’t help but feel thankful that it’s more time, not less. She doesn’t question it either. She knows better than to question it, she is just grateful that she now has an extra  _ year _ with her best friend.

**_Barden University, May 2015_ **

They’ve graduated. After seven long years of postponing the event for herself, Chloe finally gets to walk across that stage and collect her diploma. In a few days, they’ll be boarding the plane to fly out to Copenhagen for their final performance together before going their separate ways.

Chloe doesn’t want to think about what will happen after Copenhagen. She’d like to imagine that they will all stay in touch, that they will all remain friends, but time and distance change things, as her friendship with Aubrey so kindly reminds her.

But for now, Chloe is living in the moment. And in this moment, they’re absolutely shitfaced in the Bella House, which they have to move out of by the end of the week. Chloe’s lost track of how many cups of Amy’s jungle juice she’s managed to chug in the last hour, not to mention the shots that they’ve done when they played that game of Never Have I Ever.

Even Aubrey has driven back up to celebrate with them.

“So when are you going to tell Beca?” Aubrey asks her quietly as the two of them are standing, watching a pillow fight transpire between the rest of the girls in the living room.

“Tell Beca what?” Chloe asks dumbly, her eyes not once leaving their hold on Beca, who is currently laughing so hard that she’s crying, as Amy hits her relentlessly with a pillow.

“That you’re in love with her.”

She’s never dared to utter the words out loud to herself, even, but to hear someone else say them is a whole other ballgame that Chloe never even imagined. She figures that she shouldn’t be shocked; the girls have made jokes for years now that they’re secretly having an affair, and her and Beca have done nothing to dispel said rumors. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Chloe settles on, slurring her words a little as she jerks away from Beca and looks Aubrey in the eye.

Aubrey gives her a look that she can’t place, because it looks so unfamiliar on Aubrey’s face;  _ sympathy _ .

“We both know that that’s not true, Chloe,” Aubrey continues stubbornly. “We both know that’s the real reason you’ve flunked out for the last three years. So I’m going to ask you again; when are you going to tell her?”

Chloe shakes her head aggressively, stumbling a bit as she tries to walk away from Aubrey, who grabs on to keep her from falling.

“I should probably go and join the girls,” Chloe mumbles drunkenly, pushing Aubrey away as she runs to join the rest of the Bellas, falling into Beca’s arms as they hug on the middle of the living room floor, until Stacie and Cynthia Rose start hitting them with pillows. 

**_Copenhagen, May 2015_ **

Copenhagen is rainy. This was something that Chloe hadn’t anticipated when they first booked the flight. But it’s still very beautiful, and she’s relishing in the fact that she not only gets to spend time with Beca, but also Aubrey.

They’ve managed to rope all of the former Bellas into helping with their performance at Worlds, and Chloe’s more than thrilled to get to perform with Aubrey again. 

“So Jesse and I broke up.”

The sentence leaves Beca’s mouth so casually that Chloe doesn’t realize the implication of the words until she’s thought about it for a minute.

“What the hell, Beca? How long ago?” Chloe can’t help but exclaim in shock. "When? _Why?_ "

“A couple weeks ago,” Beca replies with a shrug. “It’s not a big deal, we just weren’t working anymore. We both wanted different things.”

Chloe is dumbfounded by Beca’s confession. Aside from the whole jealousy thing, she’s never hated Jesse. He’s a nice guy, and he’s always been good to Beca, from what Chloe’s seen. But to say that she’s surprised is far from the truth. She’s been expecting it to happen since they’ve started their senior year. She’s more shocked about the fact that Beca waited two weeks to tell her.

“As long as you're happy, Bec,” she decides, taking a sip from her margarita before getting up from the bar. “Come and dance with me?”

Beca puts on a big show of not wanting to get up, and rolls her eyes with great fanfare as she finally does, but Chloe  _ knows  _ that Beca loves to dance. They’re not quite drunk enough to get up to their usual, drunken antics of grinding up on each other. 

She stifles a laugh as she watches Stacie flirting with Aubrey (and Aubrey, subsequently, shutting down and blushing because she has no idea what to do), and Fat Amy entertaining an audience of locals with one of her outlandish stories. 

Truth be told, Chloe cannot imagine a time where it won’t always be like this, where all of this will just be a distant memory that she relives in the form of photographs and telling stories to her children in hopes of impressing them. 

She is pulled from her thoughts by the feeling of Beca nudging her, holding out a shot glass. She throws it back without a second thought, feeling the effects moments later. It’s not long before they’re up against each other, Beca’s breath warm on her ear.

Chloe is delirious with need at this point, but she pushes it down, just like she’s been doing for the past three years since she realized that she was in love with Beca. It’s easier to acknowledge that Beca hasn’t wanted her because she’s  _ straight _ and  _ dating Jesse _ , but she’s not with Jesse anymore, and honestly, Chloe is debating about the first thing.

They skirt close to passing the boundary of “just friends” and “more than friends” a couple of times that night, and Chloe feels the same way she did all those years ago when they almost kissed waiting outside of the bathroom.

Chloe goes to bed that night, head reeling with the information that she’s obtained, Beca’s face pressed into the crook of her neck as she softly snores (something that she only does after a night of heavy drinking). 

* * *

Their final performance is the most nerve-wracking event they’ve ever been through, and they’ve performed in front of the  _ President _ . But the minute they start, they fall into the same collective and magical state that they seem to fall into whenever they perform. The next thing Chloe knows, she’s beaming on stage as thousands of fans from all over the world are screaming and chanting for them.

She cries, mourning the end of an era, once they are finally off the stage; by then, most of the girls are crying, and they stand there in a group hug before finally pulling away. They’ve just poured their everything into their last performance.

And somehow, by a stroke of luck, they manage to win. Things are back in balance again, just as they are supposed to be.

And Chloe is  _ happy _ .

**_New York City, August 2015_ **

When Beca asks her to move with her to New York City, Chloe doesn’t hesitate to say yes. Even though they have an extra year of time, she’s not about to waste a second of it away from Beca. 

She still hasn’t confessed her love to Beca; they’ve been dancing around it for so long that Chloe’s decided that it’s just never going to happen at this point, and honestly, she’s okay with that. She’d rather have Beca’s friendship than soil it with a romantic entanglement.

She’s so excited by the prospect of just her and Beca, alone in the city, but she can’t even have that without Fat Amy tagging along and inviting herself to join them. As annoyed as she is, neither of them can find the heart to tell Amy no, so that’s how the three of them end up sharing an apartment the size of a closet. 

Still, Chloe is happy. 

She’s even started a new teaching job as a high school English teacher, so no more worrying about the future. For once, everything in her life seems to be coming together, wrapped like a Christmas present with a pretty bow on top.

**_January 2016_ **

But as everyone knows, all good things must come to an end. Chloe finds the tension between her and Beca more and more unbearable, especially considering they’re stuck sharing a pullout bed together on the couch.

Her job as a teacher ends up being more frustrating than she could’ve possibly imagined, and Amy is the  _ worst  _ roommate in the world. 

However, there is one night, where it is just her and Beca in the apartment, while Amy is away for a weekend in Vegas. For the first time in a long time, Chloe is happy. This weekend is reminiscent of their Thanksgiving tradition in the Bellas house, and they do a lot of the same things.

They slog through all eight Harry Potter movies (and Beca keeps up the same charade of hating the Harry Potter movies, but Chloe watches with amusement as Beca can’t peel her eyes off the screen) and eat their bodyweight in pizza and popcorn and ice cream.

By Sunday night, Chloe’s not sure how much more of this she can take.

And then it happens. She’s talking to Beca about something; she can’t recall what, but whatever it was, it seems unimportant at this point. But the next thing she knows, Beca’s lips are pressed to hers, and she’s reduced to a whimpering mess, fingers tangled in long brown hair, pulling Beca impossibly closer to her.

It progresses even further than Chloe has ever imagined. She almost wants to stop and pinch herself to make sure that she’s not dreaming, but to stop now would be the most painful thing that she can imagine. So instead, she continues with her pursuit of pleasuring Beca, of feeling Beca’s bare flesh pressed against her own, of hearing Beca’s desperate moans as Chloe does things to her that she’s only ever dreamed of doing. 

Hours later, after they’ve pulled any and every noise that they can from one another, she watches Beca, disheveled, in her embrace afterwards, in awe of the fact that after all of these years, they’ve just crossed a boundary that they can’t come back from. She almost does it, almost confesses that she’s loved Beca all this time, but she can’t quite bring herself to do so. She’s too  _ afraid _ .

So instead, they just lay there, neither of them brave enough to say the words that they’re both thinking.

They don’t talk about it the next morning, or any day after that. Instead, things just go back to normal, and it’s back to suppressing her feelings again for the sake of keeping her friendship with Beca intact.

**_March 2016_ **

It’s springtime, Chloe’s favorite season. She loves the idea of rebirth; it holds a special meaning to her, especially. February had been a hard month. One of her students overdosed, and she hates that there’s nothing she could’ve done to save him. The crazy thing is, is that she never saw it coming. Almost like it was an accident.

She tries not to think about it too much, instead, she buries herself in positive thoughts. She busies herself remembering that the Bellas are coming up for a reunion for the weekend. 

Seeing the girls again is the best thing to happen to her in a long time, and the first time that she’s truly been happy since probably Worlds, now that she thinks about it.

“Have you told her yet?” Aubrey asks her, nudging her gently as she sits beside her at the bar.

They’re both nearing thirty, while the other girls are still in their early twenties. They watch with a certain resignation as the other Bellas dance together. And of course, Chloe’s gaze is focused on Beca, who is having an animated conversation with Emily, probably about music.

It’s Emily’s demo that got her her big break up in New York, after all, and they’ve kept in touch over the past year. Chloe’s snuck into the background of the camera when Beca’s been on FaceTime with Emily. 

Chloe’s non-answer is enough for Aubrey to take the hint, but instead of scolding her like last time, she just rubs Chloe on the back reassuringly.

“I don’t think it’s meant to be, Bree,” Chloe admits, biting her lower lip. “And I’m not about to ruin something good. I’ve come to terms with not having Beca in that way a long time ago. Why stop now?”

Aubrey lets out a sigh, and opens her mouth as though she’s about to say something, but closes it.

“Ooh, this is my jam!” Chloe exclaims, downing the rest of her vodka cran as she gets up to join the rest of her friends on the dancefloor, the beat of Sean Paul’s “Temperature” pulsing throughout the club.

The rest of the night, they go from club to club like they’re still in college, and they don’t retire until about four in the morning, with the promise to meet for brunch later in the afternoon.

She tries to ignore the heavy feeling in her chest as Beca, still inebriated, nestles her head into the crook of Chloe’s neck as they snuggle on their pullout bed. The faint mumbling of May 2018 an unsettling reminder of their limited time.

**_April 2016_ **

It’s Easter weekend, and both of them have Good Friday off, so they decide to take a trip out to Coney Island, just the two of them. 

“I’ve missed this,” Beca admits sighly as they walk along the boardwalk, sharing a ridiculously large bag of cotton candy between the two of them. “Just the two of us.”

Chloe hums in agreement.

“Are we ever going to talk about that night, Chlo?” Beca asks her after silence has surpassed them for a few moments longer. “Or are we just going to pretend like it didn’t happen?”

Chloe can’t believe what she’s hearing. She stops in the middle of the boardwalk, her heart beating so rapidly that she’s afraid it’ll fall out of her chest.

“Beca-” she begins weakly, searching for the words that she’s trying to find, words that won’t mess up the one good thing that she has in her life.

“It meant something to me,” Beca admits, a blush creeping onto her cheeks. “Actually, it meant a lot to me. I really  _ care  _ about you Chloe, in a way that I didn’t realize for the longest time, and I can’t keep pretending that I don’t feel the way I do anymore, because it’s killing me.”

Chloe is at a loss of words. She looks at Beca, really  _ looks  _ at her, the earnestness in those deep blue eyes, anxiously awaiting a response.

So instead, she does what she’s been waiting to do since that night; she pulls Beca in for a kiss, humming as she tastes the cotton candy still on Beca’s lips. 

“So that’s a yes, then?” Beca asks worriedly after they finally pull apart. 

Chloe nods emphatically.

“Yes, weirdo.”

* * *

The next few days are some of the happiest of Chloe’s life. To be with Beca, to really, fully  _ be  _ with her without being afraid of ruining everything, is the best feeling in the world. For the first time since meeting her, Chloe doesn’t think about the date that’s looming over them; their definitive timeline. 

For a few days, she even forgets, she’s so lost in this new and exciting  _ thing _ between them. She doesn’t want to imagine a world without  _ this _ , doesn’t want to face the reality that come May 2018, she will have to let it go, whether she wants to or not. And let’s face it, she’s never been good at letting go. That’s why Beca’s still here, defying the odds after all these years. That’s why Beca didn’t die when she was supposed to.

But Chloe can’t face that truth, so instead, she kisses Beca like she’s going to melt away and pretends that this can be her forever.

* * *

No one is shocked when they announce the news, least of all, the Bellas. 

“Someone owes me fifty bucks,” Cynthia Rose insists on their group Skype call, earning frustrated groans from Stacie and Ashley (or is it Jessica?)

“I told you it would happen!” Amy insists.

Aubrey offers them a genuine congratulations, and then they go back to rambling about their daily happenings. 

**_May 2016_ **

Aubrey is up for the weekend, and Chloe couldn’t be happier. Amy has permanently moved out, after accidentally walking in on Beca and Chloe in the middle of one of their “moments”, but she still pops by every now and then to clean out their cabinets. They have a real bed now, not just a pull out to share, but honestly, Chloe doesn’t care where she sleeps, as long as it’s with Beca.

They go to pick Aubrey up from LaGuardia around noon, to be greeted by the blonde, who is wearing a flowery blouse and jeans. 

“So what’s on the agenda for the weekend?” Aubrey asks them on the drive back to the apartment. “Any big plans?”

“Well, we’re going out to the bars with Amy tonight, but the rest of the weekend is open to whatever you want,” Beca admits readily. 

Aubrey stifles a laugh.

“I’m glad that I brought extra Advil, then,” she replies with amusement. “Going out with Amy, we’re all gonna need it.”

They spend the rest of the afternoon catching up before Aubrey decides to take a short nap in preparation for the evening. She and Beca decide to watch the rest of the season of Parks and Rec until it comes closer to dinner time, and they wake Aubrey up to start getting ready.

In spite of the fact that they’re all growing older, they can still get ready and look like a bunch of college kids ready to hit the bars in their skimpy outfits, their makeup done up. They order some greasy bar food that will soak up the alcohol and significantly dampen their hangovers. 

“So how is everything going with making the Lodge a franchise?” Chloe asks Aubrey interestedly, nursing her vodka cran; they’ll have time to get plastered later. 

“More complicated than I originally thought,” Aubrey hums with dissatisfaction. “But it’s worth the endeavor. I’m actually going to be starting a branch up here, which means we’ll be seeing more of each other.”

“Like, moving up here?” Beca asks, masking her excitement.

Chloe can’t help but chuckle, remembering a time when they were both at each other’s throats.

“I mean, Georgia is nice and all, but I miss being around friends,” Aubrey admits with a tired grin. “It’ll be nice to see familiar faces more often.”

Amy hums her approval before leaving to go and flirt with a bearded man at the bar (none of them are surprised), leaving the other three to their own devices.

By the time they leave this bar in pursuit of the next, they’ve lost Amy to her flavor of the evening, and it’s just the three of them. Admittedly, they are  _ not  _ as young as they once were, and the alcohol catches up to them  _ fast _ . 

Chloe’s head is a jumble as she grinds up against Beca, who is sandwiched between her and Aubrey. They’re putting on quite a show, plenty of people eyeing them lustily as they dance without a care in the world. 

“Shit,” Beca breaths, pulling away from Aubrey and Chloe to step towards the door.

“Beca, where are you going?” Chloe calls out worriedly after her girlfriend.

“I forgot, I was supposed to fax something over to my boss an hour ago!” Beca shouts over the music. 

“It’s almost midnight, it can wait until tomorrow!” Chloe insists, Aubrey nodding in agreement.

Beca shakes her head.

“I’ll be right back, I promise.”

She can hear the number in her head, counting down. 

**_Fifteen minutes_. **

She halts her movements for a moment, trying to hone in between the background noise and the music pulsing through the club.

“No, that can’t be right,” she mutters to herself. “I have two more years.”

“Chlo?” Aubrey asks worriedly. “You good?”

“I have to go,” Chloe insists, gathering her things and running towards the door, after Beca.

“Chloe, wait up!” Aubrey shouts after her, hot on her tail.

They run down the sidewalk, searching for Beca, with no luck. 

**_Twelve minutes._ **

She feels sober hearing the number repeating over and over in her head, taunting her with it’s finality. She wills it to change; she’s done it before, she can do it again. 

“Chloe, what the hell are we doing?” Aubrey pants, still chasing after her as they weave in and out of the crowded sidewalks. 

“I have to find her,” Chloe exclaims, swallowing at the lump in her throat.

**_Five minutes._ **

They’re almost to the apartment when she catches a glimpse of Beca in the crowd. She’s still drunk, wobbling in her heels as she struggles to walk. 

“Beca!” Chloe calls out, but the sound of Friday night traffic and all the people lining the streets drowns her out.

**_Four minutes._ **

“Chloe, what’s going on?” Aubrey asks, but Chloe just ignores her. She’ll explain later, she needs to get to Beca before it’s too late.

**_Three minutes_.**

“Chloe, what are you doing here?” Beca asks, pressing a sloppy kiss to her cheek. “You know I love you, but you didn’t have to follow me. I promised I’d be back.”

Chloe lets out a sigh of relief as she feels the warmth of Beca’s skin pressing against her own, but the voice won’t shut up.

**_Two minutes._ **

“Okay, we found Beca, can we hurry up now so we can get back?” Aubrey asks, clearly annoyed with both of her friends.

Chloe is frantic, trying to figure out why the time won’t change. Beca's fine; they're all _fine_.

**_One minute._ **

“Just a minute, Bree, and then we’ll head back,” Beca promises, teetering out towards the street, pulling away from Chloe’s grasp.

**_Thirty seconds._ **

It happens so fast that she can’t process. Chloe watches in horror as Beca’s heel gets caught in the grate. She tries to yank herself free, but to no avail.

“Watch out!” someone screams from behind them; Chloe doesn’t recognize the voice.

But it’s too late.

**_One second._ **

A car takes a sharp left, smacking into Beca, knocking her to the ground. Chloe lets out a strangled cry as she runs to Beca, but it’s too late.

Beca is gone, and she is only reminded of that first experience with her gift, her mother cradling Otis’s lifeless body in her arms as the driver of the car consoled her. Only this is so much worse. 

She is cradling the one person that she loved more than anything in her arms. 

“We were supposed to have more time,” Chloe manages weakly through sobs. “Why couldn’t you have just waited until tomorrow, Beca?”

The reality that she’s been fighting to avoid for so long has finally presented it to her, and she doesn’t think that she will ever recover. 

Because how do you recover from something like this?

_ You don’t. _


End file.
